塗鴉牆上，突然出現了好多當年辯論圈的熟悉名字，伴隨著一件件人際、社務的是是非非，稍微扒了幾層，有別於當年，醜陋不名譽的關係被赤裸裸地搬上檯面。夢迴吹角連營，偶爾難免想起當初比賽的過往、幾個質詢答辯的環節，從來不是甚麼很厲害的選手，但卻真心的喜歡這段過程、及那時候的自己，回頭細數當然有太多幼稚無知無能為力，但同時有很多的嚮往動能甚至理想主義，好想問問不論是十七歲還是二十歲的自己，怎麼會有如此奮不顧身的勇氣。
或許任何人都一樣，喜歡被當自己人看待，不求給我特殊待遇照顧，但被相敬如賓的方式對待有時候比不熟絡更加傷人，想想是真的滿不喜歡M和C的待人處事，當初最令人困擾的H，反而覺得是時勢所為，大家都在追夢的路上難免有齟齬，事過境遷，雨過天青。
最近一個多月的身心狀況不佳容易疲累，好的壞的回憶常一瞬間湧上心頭，委屈憤怒不滿都無以精準描述情緒的層次，不得不敬佩龍先生對於情緒的具象描述與類比，沙膽源李釗六子到董空如竇娥冤，我是多麼希望真有老天能為我下一場六月雪，比起公道，我更需要的是看見。
Time flies like an arrow, I can't believe I have stayed in the USA for around one and half years. Currently, half of the fourth semester has passed and I start to feel a bit exhausted. The research work is not so bad but I still feel not talented enough to understand or dig into the concept behind the phenomenon of science. On the other hand, I am losing a bit of curiosity and enthusiasm for trying new things, especially food, in my daily life. It seems still a bit gap for me to really involve in the culture and lifestyle of the American, even though my friends and classmates are nice to me. I understand that embracing a new culture can't do it at once and doing a PhD should focus more on the research itself, but I did need a way to booster myself. RPI is a nice school; however, it is a pity that its campus is too small. It limits my interest in finding a secret corner, such as a balcony, a window, or shade of a tree to refresh myself when I am exhausted.
Below are some photos I took during the trip at the end of last year. Hope I can explore historical heritage in upstate after getting a car.
